Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
