there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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