Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
