she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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