Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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