I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
