But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
