Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
