Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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