I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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