Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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