At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
