You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
