Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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