evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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