okay pat passed out under dana's car
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize