his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
