you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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