we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize