I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She bit a glass in half.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize