he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
