Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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