all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
