My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
