Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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