At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize