p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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