Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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