Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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