I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
