So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
