So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize