she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize