Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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