dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nutella sex= disaster
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
