You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
