new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just high enough for therapy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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