I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
