no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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