she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
