Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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