If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
