and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
