i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
