I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
