what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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