Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
