Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
