I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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