The maid of honor just puked.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I forget how to act sober
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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