Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
