I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
