I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
