somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
