The maid of honor just puked.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
