Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
