im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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