Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well you can't waste a boner
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
