can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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