I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
