found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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