we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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